Thought Avalanche

I woke up to an avalanche of thoughts that I couldn’t stop.

I’ve finally decided to choose me this time.

I wanted to be genuinely happy, respected, loved and cared for~ and yet still wanting to truly find that small space of CHANCE from within, but I couldn’t find them.

I wanted to keep looking, to keep going…but I am seemingly blocked by all these unwarranted thoughts and questions.

I didn’t know how hard it is to choose self respect.

I didn’t know how difficult it is to truly want something for myself for the first time.

I didn’t know it can be this heavy of a burden to want PEACE for me.

Do I truly deserve to want these?

When I am so used to just give them.

Where do I even start getting used to the thought,

Hannah, you matter…

You deserve it.

I know I do….

But doing something for ME isn’t easy after all.

Until now, even with the desires of liberty and peace~ I wanted him who hurt me~

HAPPINESS. PEACE. LOVE. UNDERSTANDING.

That I couldn’t give anymore.

After all, I wasn’t enough.