After Life

I know. It’s morbid and no one wants to even talk about it.
I’m at work now and although I did not want to be here today, I had to.
I looked at myself in the mirror and thoughts of death dawned on me. it’s not because I wanna die but because I have been tolerating an excruciating headache plus neck and back pain then a husband’s inconsideration and impatience over something stupid…who couldn’t think of death then? physical pain combined with emotional pain are ingredients to think of such.
Unlike you, I am looking forward to the day I will die.. not too soon? but when it happens, I wouldn’t mind… people really only celebrate you on what you have not on who you are.
I look forward to being alive as well but death is just something that I couldn’t seem to brush off… to me it’s like a gift that one day I’ll open.

I just hope that when that day comes, people won’t regret or say overly sentimental words of condolences and admiration. I would rather have them keep it to themselves than say it because I won’t be able to know and hear it anyway— I’m dead! 😊😊
I hope when that day comes, people won’t cry. I hope they will celebrate because finally, I’m home.
I hope that when that day comes, others will benefit. I purposefully signed up as an organ donor because I don’t want any of my organ to go to waste– someone else wanted to live and make the most out of their lives, so go ahead and butcher me… it’s morbid but hey, I want you to live.
To the one who will have my heart, please..above all else, guard it. I did not use it well when I was living so maybe when you have it, you can take good care of it and handle it with much care and love. It got broken many times so when you use it, it might not be as perfect but enough for you to keep breathing. And when you are lonely, just feel every beat of it.. remember you are not alone and remember I am with you in your pain.

I’m not trying to scare you, all I’m saying is, everything will be alright.
To the one who will have my eyes, I may not have seen the whole world with my eyes but I have seen the most beautiful people and Gods creation as well. When you use it, allow me to share with you the beauty of Gods design and remember, what is essential can never be seen in our naked eyes.. so even though you can see many things now, don’t forget those line.

To the one who gets my kidney, now you have another chance to live, if you’re not living a healthy life, please choose to do so this time. If you aren’t blessed of a healthy one, well mine I guess might not be as perfect but at least it’s the perfect match for you. Take good care of it, and I don’t like sodas by the way so maybe don’t drink as much of it too. 🙂

I don’t know what else to donate when I die…so whatever is left, please cremate it and don’t just scatter it.. use it as a fertilizer and plant a tree!!! so when it grows, at least the tree will symbolize life and the life I want to live somehow.

Like a tree, I am now free. Free to experience the wind and the cycle of nature. I may not be able to talk but I can provide shelter to those who are in need of shelter, I can provide food if ever I’m a fruit tree or when you need of a place to write your diary, you can share me your story without the ability to spread it.

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