I have countless ways to fill the void. And the more I find my answers, the deeper the emptiness I feel. Constantly looking for reasons to catch up, fill them quick!
The seemingly never ending abyss I created? Or I allowed? Invisible to the eyes, but real to the thought.
I hear me say, you Have Him. You know what to do, CALL! PRAY!
I know what to do but it’s overpowering. It’s overbearing. It’s scary.
Every breathing moment is filled with heaviness. Questions after questions. Why does it have to be me?
I am a victor, but can’t help but remember every strike of the sword, left me bleeding in the battlefield. I am still fighting. I can.
But I there’s just too many. I can’t do it alone.
I may have countless ways to fill the void, to cover the wounds, to detach myself from this never ending abyss.
I have so many distractions, but when it’s quiet. It’s loud.
Like a never ending drum beat.
I kept looking for solutions, but I find myself thinking of an easier fix. My wandering thoughts taking me to a much deeper abyss.
I know what to do, PRAY.
Yet, I find it heavy to do so. And don’t judge! You shouldn’t! You ain’t God.
I am a work in progress.
I am still fighting.
One day, I’ll let Him fight these invisible battle.